Amazing how easy it is to pass judgment on the fallen. I thought that was something the world was enthralled with? Celebrity’s fall from the spotlight, public gaffes, embarrassment, divorce, infidelity, public intoxication… The world consumes failure like it’s chocolate.
And then I thought about the church as a whole. And I think we’re actually worse about it. Fans of celebrity in the world actually seem to wish their idols would get themselves back on track. Christians wish their exalted leaders would just go ahead and die or fade into permanent obscurity the moment their humanity becomes visible. The veneer drops, and suddenly the image of Christian cool we invest ourselves into is gone like a vapor.
Someone tells you that Christian band you like actually smoked pot on the road. A popular Christian author believes something politically different than you. A pastor you used to listen to on the internet teaches something theologically you disagree with. A champion of abstinence marries someone who isn’t a virgin. They become too popular. They become too passe’. One way or another, the people we root for fail us. And we self-righteously declare their betrayal with reckless abandon- ending our little fit of disappointment with the phrase, “I guess all we can do is just pray for them”.
Which brings me to Michael Guglielmucci.
This Australian pastor and musician has been involved with Planetshakers and later, Hillsong. He wrote a song called “Healer” that appeared on Hillsong’s “This is Our God” album. The song is a truly inspiring, and in my opinion, Spirit-filled worship tune. Purportedly written in response to Guglielmucci’s cancer diagnosis, thousands have been touched by the message of it, coupled with his own story. A few weeks ago, he came clean. He never had cancer. In an interview, he basically stated that the fabricated illness was a diversion, an attempt to hide his rampant pornography addiction behind something bigger. Thousands around the globe love(d) that song. Thousands were touched by it. And now, thousands feel very betrayed.
I can’t speak to the man’s heart, nor would I even consider trying such a thing. He and God have a lot of things to work out. He and his wife and family have a lot of things to work through. He’s come clean, apologized, and is making certain any money he’s made off the song doesn’t end up in his wallet. We applaud the confession, sense relief that he’s not dying, and tear him to pieces with our ostracizing. Hillsong has removed the song from the album and DVD it appeared on. His bank accounts are being audited. Thousands have written in distant support, and thousands in personal hurt and anger. I wonder if either approach lines up with Jesus much… not to judge the hurt or the patronizing, just for my own heart.
See, many many many years ago (I’m old!), I was a liar. You know those people who just make up impossible stuff for no reason? Perhaps for attention, or maybe to seem cooler than they think they are? Yeah. I was that guy. I remember telling kids in elementary school that I owned a copy of Super Mario Bros. 3 a full 2 years before the game even existed. I remember telling friends I had played in a Japanese rock band. I remember telling a family I lived with that I had “ganglio-glioma”, a made-up form of nerve cancer. Yeah. I was that guy. Eventually, every lie will trap us. We will be diminished for it, not exalted. And if we ever get more popular, or cooler, or get the attention we want- the fall once the truth comes out takes us much lower than we were to start with. Always. Guaranteed. I have no idea why I lied about such random stuff. I don’t see the motivation for it now, years later. If I was hiding something else in the lie… both have come to light now. If I was looking for value in being looked at as ‘better’ than I was… I was looked at worse afterward. And the big lies cost me big. It’s been almost ten years since, and my closest friends and family from back then still won’t talk to me. It hurts, being a completely different person now, and not being able to reconcile with them.
So I understand a little of what Mr. Guglielmucci has gone through. The lengths he’s gone to protect his lie. And the long, hard road he’ll have to take to be restored from here. But I can’t judge him so harshly. I can’t be angry with his human mistake. I can’t hold him to a higher standard than I am. That higher standard is the cross, and every single one of us is unworthy of it. Thank God for His grace- the only thing that will ever measure up. I’m not speaking for JFH in this- this is only my own opinion- but after the hurt has settled, I think all this will make “Healer” an even more appropriate and anointed song. One that’s meaning has deepened because of this. One that now speaks to the long-haul, heart-restoration power of God, instead of just the physical. One that can still be used by the Holy Spirit to touch our lives. One I still plan to sing.
Back from Florida. Japanese young people recharge my soul. More on that later… with pics or something…
In other news: THIS GARBAGE HAPPENED.
I hope against hope it isn’t true, but I think I do so mostly because I’ve done basically the same thing in a previous lifetime (more on that someday, perhaps).
I’m trying hard not to be completely judgmental of this gentleman. If you’ve heard the “Healer” song, you know how powerful it is. If you’ve seen the video from the Hillsong DVD, you know even moreso. If this comes out as true… I don’t know how many people will never be able to do either again.
God help him. Seriously. Living with such a thing is even less fun than revealing it. I know.
I can’t possibly create any further exposition on the subject my absolute hero, my sister, has written about over at her page.
The idea of passion and the search for it… a version centered in God, and consuming in depth… I really can’t add to her words. She’s brilliant, and speaks a lot of our hearts through this.
These are some friends of mine. Kyle and Sarah.
Kyle plays bass and Sarah sings at church. I’ve known them for years.
Kyle’s father passed away this morning. He’s been struggling for awhile now.
If you have a few seconds, please pray for them, their hearts, and the hearts of his family.
Thanks.
Sorry, Mosaic peoples.
The web store plugin I’ve been trying to get working… isn’t.
So, if you’ve been trying to order a shirt, the Online Store button in the sidebar should take you to our old, simple paypal buttons.
Sorry for the trouble!
Communication is an essential portion of our human experience. It is in our eternal experience as well, now that I think on it. In my small circle of friends and family, the object of conversation has regularly been the importance of actual communication. How God speaks to us, how we speak to Him, how we relate and experience Him and one another… It’s been a theme of late.
I remember a friend of mine once giving exposition on the idea that conversation and communication were two different things. I know it’s mostly semantics, but the ideas behind the statement are potentially valid. I may not be as verbose as he was on the idea, but I think he’s correct in part. I can (and do) converse with people daily. Work acquaintances, church people, close friends, my family… There’s a good amount of dialogue happening almost constantly. But even though I don’t have enough digits to count the total number of verbal or written interactions I have, I can most certainly count the daily actual communications on one hand. Or less.
I’m not going to be boring and go into the depth of origin these two words have. I’m not well enough researched in such things to even pretend to know the root, tense, original use, and so on. But the word “Communication” just feels like communion, or communal, or community to me. Same root, maybe. Conversation feels standoff-ish, reserved, inauthentic. Communication feels inviting, shared, experienced. I’m weird, I know, to be thinking about this sort of thing. But there’s a reason for the diatribe. I’ve been prayerfully examining some of my relationships lately. I know that sounds bad. Like I’m doing spring cleaning on my life and those people past their expiration date will have to go, or something. It’s not like that. I’m trying to make certain that I’m communicating with them, and not just conversating. It’s about how I treat them, trust them, believe in them, and allow them to know me. I can’t change their perception of me, no matter how hard I try to guard against being seen as ‘less’ or ‘not enough’ or ’sinful’ or from seeing the broken places in me. It all comes out in the end, and I don’t actively attempt to withhold those truths… but it is somewhat painful to reveal them.
In our attempts to become ‘real’ with God, ourselves, and other people- we will have to go beyond surface conversation. We’ll have to communicate. Being that authentic with God is hard, because I want Him to view me as worthy of blessing and direction and all that. Being real with myself is hard because I don’t really even like the guy- he’s not healthy enough or talented enough or attractive enough or driven enough or spiritual enough or strong enough… basically, I’m not enough enough. Being honest with others is hard because I want to be valued and validated and told I’m worth it- and if I let on that I’m sinful, lustful, flawed, angry, shy, doubtful, insecure, un-spiritual, un-disciplined, lazy, and afraid… well, who wants to do life with someone like that?
Another friend jokingly tells me I’m ’speaking Chinese’ sometimes. Which basically means I’m not making sense. It’s an inside joke (love those), but it bears weight. I makes me wonder if the pressure to develop deep, meaningful communication is even an obtainable thing. I think not, actually. The times it happens are blissful, but brief, and are never manufactured. God shows up and turns conversation into community. It takes His involvement. Every time. What does that mean for us, though? Giving up on being genuine doesn’t seem right, and I doubt God wants us to stop trying with people, so…
Maybe we can only be who we are, seeking after God to make us into who He wants us to be. He’s the only one Who can breathe real life into any relationship. Between He and I- He had to come die and live again and subsequently reside within me in order to make it happen. Between me and myself- He had to bleed and redeem me so I could even know… and even then, my true identity is someone He created and said “Yeah, he’s worth dying for”. Between myself and others- He’s more than glue between people- He’s the universe- the only worthy common pursuit and passion and means by which true friendship and family can exist and be sustained. Huh… It always comes down to Him, doesn’t it?
I’m always impressed by brilliant photgraphers, professional-types or just really amazing amateurs.
Like, the above picture. I don’t know who the little girl is… but in an instant, her story is captured in virtual film.
Amazing work, ma’am.
I’ve mused recently about how light reflecting off a surface allows for our sight. It’s like the old analogy about trying to explain relationship with God to someone who’s never known Him as trying to describe a sunset to a person born blind. I think we’re all born blind in the spiritual sense. Alot of the time, even after having met my Maker, I still feel quite without sight. Feeling around in the darkness for a foothold if I’m climbing… a door if I’m trapped… a pit to avoid as I’m walking…
Last night I heard this awesome, awesome message from Ash Barker. The monthly theme at my favorite ‘other church‘ out in Australia is “Jesus Light of the World“. One of the quotes I remember Ash using was something like: “You kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight“. I’ve Googled the phrase, and seen it attributed to several authors, so I don’t know in what context it came originally. But who cares? It’s a good one by itself, I think.
I’ve often asked God to send me out somewhere exotic, to test my faith. You know, one of those do-or-die experiences, wherein one has no choice whatsoever but to rely completely upon Him. I’ve prayed to go to ’safe-ish’ places like the UK, or Israel, Japan or Australia. I’ve prayed to be sent to the potentially more dangerous places, too… Haiti, Rwanda, Thailand, India, Turkey… and yes, I realize I put Israel in the ‘wrong’ category, but I’ve got a Jewish last name and some friends over there, so… it seems safer to me. The guilt of being (in world terms) filthy rich in comparison to the most desperate in the world is a troublesome thing. I look at the laughing girl in the picture above and wonder if I’ve ever felt such freedom as she did in that singular moment. I look at my xbox and my mortgage bills and my complaints about $4 gasoline, and honestly get sick at myself. Any of us with a heart at all have those moments. The ones we almost beg God to just ask us to sell all we have and give it away to the poor and then go follow Jesus wherever He leads. Some are called to do it. Some are called to support those people who do. Some are called to help those a world away by giving of what we have. And some are like me, I think- simply willing… but as yet undefined.
I don’t despise the tension I have. Or the blessings, or the sight. At least I have more than I need, so I can give some until He tells me it’s time to give it all. At least I have the ability to see my hubris, to see Him killing it and replacing it with sights of need and my ability to attach myself to it. At least I can say “Hey, I accumulated all this stuff on the Christian checklist, and I don’t think I ever needed it.” I want to be ready to see, and then act, without the fear of how I myself am affected. I think He’s making us steadily willing to. The trade-off can be seen all over her laughing face.
“In mathematical terms, marriage is like a 2dimensional force vector, with an x and y component. Individually they are each traveling in their own direction, but at the point of intersection they form a new direction that is a product of both.”
That’s probably the most romantic thing I’ve ever read.
Thank you, The Internet.
So, is “We Love You” in Spanish…
1. Nos Queremos
2. Os Queremos
3. Les Queremos
????
Help me out!
I want to make some shirts to help support Ingrid (she’s the pretty gal in the next post down).
I’ve committed to her. (Thanks, Anne!)
I’ve mentioned it previously, but it always seemed like a cool idea to have a ’shirt of the month’ kinda deal, and use whatever is raised from those to help support kids through Compassion. Those who couldn’t give every single month could still be a part of the blessing, and take a picture with the shirt they bought to send along to the little ones.
It’s an idea. The kind that won’t go away. One step at a time…
As for me, for right now, there’s Ingrid.
Order Shirt / Donate
Any donation amount helps. If you don't want a shirt but still want to help- every penny of your donation will go to Global Church Missions to be given directly to the families and communities in need.
Shirts are $15 each, printed on American Apparel.
Over half the amount of the shirt goes to GCM (the rest to recoup printing costs so we can do it all over again- God willing!)
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